Bigger Man

The most hateful, vindictive, spoiled, frustrating people were on the heart of Christ as He suffered on the cross. Thank goodness, too, because I am one of them. So often I don’t want to be the bigger man. I want to say exactly what I’m thinking, act on my anger, force my own form of justice. Yet when Jesus helps me see others the way He does, and catch a glimpse of His absolute love for them, and for me, I am compelled to respond differently, in repentance and grace.

I don’t want to be the bigger man
I wish mercy would run away
But it keeps flooding over me,
Beckoning my heart to obey

I am tired of your two-faced smile,
The way your words slice my soul.
Can I just give up and cut you out
Instead of pretending it’s under control?

My anger has melted into apathy
until it becomes impossible to hide
The brokenness of our bond on full display
Through unkind words and stubborn pride.

I don’t want to be the bigger man
I wish mercy would run away
But it keeps flooding over me,
Beckoning my heart to obey

No matter what you’ve done
My Jesus decided He would love you.
When I could not forgive, He did
No wrong exists that He can’t undo.

Trading my version of justice for Jesus
and surrendering my need to be right
Gives me peace from worthless fighting,
Keeping me dependent on God’s might.

Because when grace
Allows me to really see
My heart breaks
For your reality.
The darkness, the shame,
Not knowing the power of Jesus’ name
The insecurity, the guilt
The walls you have built
You don’t see
The love waiting to set you free

No matter what you’ve done
My Jesus decided He would love you.
God, help me do that too.

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